Amaris Vitae

Do you have a skill or ability, life experience, passion, or motivation that is hard to explain to others?

For as long as I can remember, I felt out of place. This feeling was most poignant as a teenager in the US, as I struggled to decide where I wanted to go in life while writing college application essays. Nothing really fit. I studied music at university, and that fit best, but I still felt empty because I am a polymath. Curiosity has always gotten the best of me. I’m dedicated to learning every day: a new skill, a fun fact… honestly, we are all polymaths, but our society is not equipped to accommodate this life. It means stepping out of our comfort zones, individually and as a society, and focusing on what matters: a quality of life that best suits each person’s soul.

I’m a life organizer, and this name clicked for me. It relates to my role as a professional organizer, but instead of organizing people’s belongings, I do the same for life. One of my mentors gave me great advice: act and behave as if you are working toward a PhD in your own life. That means studying, examining, reflecting, understanding YOU. This could be studying:

• Your Patterns
• How you value and trust your instincts
• How you nurture your intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships
• How you learn, your intelligence, and how you digest information
• How well you understand your emotions and what they’re communicating
• How you come back to presence or awareness of the world around you

This past August, Rayge asked if we could do a Life Organizing practice together. This was exciting, mainly because our relationship is supported by curiosity for each other. I felt a mild trepidation, as I’ve never done a Life Organizing experience with a partner. I know what Life Organizing does. It holds a mirror to your life and reveals the areas you avoid. You can’t avoid truth, and clarity leads to awareness and acceptance.

Awareness

Rayge and I sit down on our sofa and play relaxing music. I take a pebble I found on one of my favorite beaches near Lisbon, place it in the palm of my right hand, and ask Rayge to place their hands on mine. This pebble is significant: a symbol of my own growth, shaped over the years. It was a very special day at the beach; the waves crashed so dramatically, sounding like thunder at times. I remember finding this beach and falling in love with the feeling that no matter when you go, it’s as if you have the beach all to yourself. There’s no one around you for a few hundred meters.

The Question

When we are both aware of the moment, I encourage Rayge to ask a question about something they’ve contemplated. My heart sank a little when Rayge asked, “What does a marriage mean for our future?” Now…let’s take a step back. Neither Rayge nor I believe in the concept of marriage, with its ties to heteronormativity. Queer relationships need more protection if anything should happen. My heart sank knowing how marriage intersects every area of our lives, and we were preparing for a busy August. I know what Life Organizing does…It’s going to disconnect all of the falsehoods in your life first.

I find INTENTIONAL questions very spiritual. When I prepare someone for Life Organizing, I emphasize open-ended questions. When you ask an open-ended question, you open yourself to the vastness of the universe for solutions, understanding, and wisdom.

The Drawing

Rayge and I sat quietly for a moment until a vision started to appear in my head. I’m a dreamer…a daydreamer. One of the most violent things we can do to ourselves or to other people is to deny dreams. Humans aren’t great at tolerating mystery…we are intrigued by it, but when it threatens reality or doesn’t align completely with logic, especially dreams, trying to rationalize or analyze them is generally discouraged. Dreams reveal so much to us, and as with anything, it’s critical to nurture and hold gratitude for them. Denying dreams would deny a part of you. 

While relaxed and aware, I receive a vision- a dream, but more like a snapshot. I draw certain aspects of the dream as best I can; for the most part, the elements are minimal, making it easy to sketch. As I draw, I start to see puzzle pieces that will later become more cohesive concepts for the other person to explore. This is the digital drawing that Rayge and I shared during our Life Organizing experience in August.

Analyzing Your Dreams Every aspect of your dreams is meaningful, including colors, people, animals, locations, sounds…everything has a place and space. It’s important to have an almost childlike sense of curiosity and wonder with your dreams. These meanings become a dictionary for you to refer back to for later dreams. No aspect of your dream is good or bad. Your dreams are non-binary. Dreams are there to help you find the truth in your life. If you are assigning static outcomes, remember that dreams are non-binary in every way. Dreams provide truth, massage your emotions and feelings. Dreams are the meanings behind your feelings and emotions. If you are feeling discomfort or anxiety, take time to ask yourself why this is. Dreams prepare us for changes, and change can be difficult to bear. At the end of the day, remind yourself that dreams are here for your well-being. Keep a dream journal to document patterns, archive recurring dreams, and build your dream vocabulary. When identifying major themes, make sure you are in a state of awareness, not allowing your ego to draw conclusions that aren’t in sync with your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and intuition. DO NOT share your dreams with people who don’t matter or do not have your well-being in mind. Your dreams are sacred. Take time to daydream. You learn more about yourself, and it is an insight into your creativity.

Our Analysis

A Dusk Sky: A sky in transition refers to timing. It reveals transitions, awareness, introspection, acceptance, and renewal. It may signify change or finding balance between opposing concepts or meanings in your life, especially thoughts and emotions that blur the boundary between your conscious and subconscious. For Rayge and me, we are always in a state of change…our relationship requires it. Dusk in our life organizing moment connected to our lives now and where we want to go.

Rounded Mountains: I have to admit that the rounded mountains were very odd at first. As I analyzed the dream, I remembered a documentary about the indigenous mound builders. Mounds are found mainly in North America and were formed for burials, ceremonies, or platforms for important people or structures. Based on our dream, marriage is a deeply spiritual concept. It’s not just a legal practicality, but it ties to many aspects of our lives. If you find a mountain(s) in your dream, explore the meaning. Mountains are associated with challenges, overcoming, or areas that require patience and understanding. Mountains represent something you aspire to become or ascend to: a reminder that things may be challenging or outside typical or traditional ways of being, but mountains in your dream offer reassurance. If you keep moving forward, it will lead to more growth, truth, and understanding.

A.U.R.A. Imprinted on Mountains: Rayge and I apply A.U.R.A. (Accepting, Understanding, Reflection, and Acting) every day. It was one of Rayge’s first thoughts after our reflection. One of the best things about organizing is that it is not about me…the other person is very much involved in this process. My dreams are only privy to another’s intuitive energy if they are willing to share. A.U.R.A. imprinted on the mountains is a very profound statement. A.U.R.A. reminds us to trust the process when life becomes challenging. It’s a practice in grounding.

Pebbles that Form the Rounded Mountains: Do you remember the pebble I placed in the palm of my hand to begin the life organizing moment? It’s how the mountain is shaped by these long, rounded pebbles, connected by sediment layers of dust, sand, and dirt. The pebbles are stacked on top of each other and in my dream, the pebbles continue to grow over time, so the height of the rounded mountains is not fixed.

Clear Blue Water: If water is featured in your dream, notice the color. In mine, the water was very clear, but the floor of the stream or river was a vibrant blue. Clear blue water in dreams is a sign of clarity, transparency, renewal, and emotional cleansing. Transparency is at the heart of the relationship between Rayge and me. The dream was a reminder to continue the transparency to overcome the challenges. When we learn and come to an understanding of our relationship, we also share with others. The love we share showers the life we lead.

Red Desert With Vegetation: Part of the landscape of the dream featured red sand, similar to that of the Red Desert in Wyoming, US, or some of the deserts found in Saudi Arabia, or areas of Africa. The red sand indicates an exclusivity, unique compared to most deserts. There is vegetation, so even in a desert, where temperatures are at their highest, there is still vegetation: there are signs of life growing in a harsh climate. This was a reminder for Rayge and me to remember that in times of challenges, we should find and apply the love we have. This will carry us through.

Observation from a Cliff: In our dream, this ledge- perhaps a cliff- was a reminder to look at the big picture. This dream shouldn’t focus on this aspect or that. The complete picture is what we are looking at to observe life in a way that makes sense to us. It was a reminder to study our lives…a diploma is a sheet of paper, but I will study myself before anything else. Some time ago I listened to a podcast that featured Federico Faggin, an Italian-American physicist, inventor, and entrepreneur. I remember him saying that the universe has the desire to learn more about itself. Because we are a part of the universe, it isn’t a foreign concept that we should want to know more about ourselves…and the universe, especially the mysterious. That is why dreams are so important.

Our Reflection and Actions

We know that our marriage is all-encompassing. The love Rayge and I have doesn’t need a marriage to reflect this. We know that our togetherness has meaning, that it is designed to grow and transition into whatever shape it needs to in order for us to be fulfilled as individuals and as a couple. The love that we share fuels the RESET.

The foundations of the RESET rely on the fact that life needs to change. Anything tied to patriarchal structures is asking to be examined right now. In your quiet time alone, are you feeling the pull to change? I have a strong belief that all of us are feeling this urge to change how we do life, but feel helpless. Patriarchal structures include colonialism, and deconstruction is not enough. EVERYTHING has to go, and that’s a tall order for those who had large payoffs and benefits from this structure. 

Dreams are a path for us. Amaris Vitae is a compass, and A.U.R.A. is the mechanism to practice my way out of the life we are living under the current societal framework. The RESET is our way of sharing spaces with others who want things to change, without the pressure of feeling like they are alone or doing this work themselves. Patriarchal structures assume that life exists in a straight line –  a timeline, a hierarchy when life is more cyclical, with rounded edges like the pebble I mentioned before. We are all a part of this vast universe, and this should remind us that everything is connected-we are all connected. In a society that uplifts (hyper) individualism, you are never alone.

Life Organizing inspires you to take action and create new ways to be in this world based on the love for yourself and others. If you value fulfillment, it requires action. One of the first actions might be to see your life differently. If the pressures of patriarchal systems were lifted, what would that look like? What aspects of matriarchal structures would balance what we currently have? If this life leads to individualism, what are the alternatives? 

There are answers to all of these questions. Let your dreams be your guide.

~The Auragrio